Tuesday, July 28, 2009

"I'm NOT going outside."

Logan's solution for everything is saying he is "NOT" going to do what ever it is that he actually wants to do. For instance, he said that he wanted to go outside and eat pop-cycles after nap time today. As the clouds rolled in and it started to thunder, I heard a loud knock on his door for me to come check on him in his room. He let me know, with much attitude, "I am NOT going outside after may nap!" He calmly laid back down. Likewise, at meal time when I have put something on his plate that he insists he doesn't like, he runs from the table yelling, "I am NOT going to eat my cheese sandwich!" The cheese sandwich is, or course, what he wanted and the carrots are not.

I searched for an answer to why he insisted on torturing himself when he is unhappy and then it hit me, he is saying these things because he thinks it is getting to me. He is so dependent on my feelings, actions, attitude and approval that he isn't separating his feelings with mine. If it is something that would "hurt" him, then certainly it must "hurt" his mommy too, right? I realized that this is the reason that it makes him furious when I act nonchalant about his tirades. I am not validating his feelings.

So then, how should I handle these outbursts and the adorable, big grinned 3 (almost 4!) year old who causes them? I don't really know. But, I do have a start. I recently went to the local Homeschool Expo and gathered so much information that I haven't totally wrapped my brain around all that I have learned. I came across a wonderful disciplinary tool while I was there that has already made a difference in his attitude and mine! "Wise Words for Moms" by Ginger Plowman is a handy chart "designed for the purpose of aiding you in using the Scriptures to drive out the foolishness 'bound up in the heart of [your] child' (Proverbs 22:15)." This chart lists many common behavior issues, some questions to get even your youngest child to think about their behavior, and the scriptures to get rid of the sinful and bring in the righteousness! I love this chart because it makes me stop and think about the scripture as well. I personally make my children recite the scripture with me or back to me as I am reading it. I am hoping this will help them to memorize it with me.

No more flipping through the scriptures (angrily) as I try and find that right verse to chastise my child with! No more 20 leading questions to try to get my little ones to "think" about their actions. And, hopefully soon, no more "I am NOT's!"

Summer of Sickies

I never write on this. I always say that I will and even come up with ways to do better, but the fact is I just have other priorities. I actually love to write. I have journaled as long as I can remember but it just seems mentally exhausting most days to sit and either hand write or type up what has been happening. A lot of times it isn't even the writing or typing but the process of finding pen and paper or going through the motions of posting.

We haven't done a ton this summer because majority of our summer has been spent sick. The kids have had random fevers, colds, and virus's all summer long so we have spent most of our time indoors watching movies (that the kids are definitely tired of) and trying to stay sane with through the cabin fever. I think the most frustrating thing is that the well children have to stay in when they obviously feel fine while I nurse the sickies back to health. We have colored lots of pictures, played lots of games, again - watched lots of movies, and spent lots of time cuddling on the couch under a mound of blankets whether it is 80 or 99 degrees outside.
On the days that we have all been well, we have had a blast. We have spent many mornings in the little pool and sprinkler in the backyard. We have gotten ice-cream from the ice-cream truck, complete with loud obnoxious music. We have had visitors come and go. We have gone to the Aquarium and the Children's Discovery Museum. And, our latest thing to enjoy is going to the YMCA. They have a great indoor play gym and outside play area with fit classes for the kids. We have gone to the Y pool (only when Pete is home!) so the kids can learn to swim. So, the summer is not lost and we still have a few weeks left.

My prayer for today is that the Lord will guide us in enjoying our time indoors and that our family will all be well for an extended period of time soon.